Reflections on Adolescence from a Youth Worker

When I watched Adolescence on Netflix, I was overwhelmed. I wept with relief, thanking the Lord that someone had finally shown the truth we’ve been shouting about for years. Youth workers and community leaders have known for a long time that young people are not safe—not even in their bedrooms. But parents still say, “My child is safe; they don’t go out, they’re in their room.” The reality is far more complex.

The digital battleground

Young people are being groomed, radicalised, and recruited online. Drill* music isn’t just entertainment—it’s a communication tool. Behind the beat, threats are sent, deaths are ordered, and locations are set. To outsiders, it’s just a song. To those in the know, it’s a warning. The same goes for emojis—what seems harmless to parents can carry violent, even deadly, meanings. The young people understand the code, but most parents don’t. 

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Adolescence showed this reality raw and unfiltered. It exposed the dangers that lurk in the shadows of social media, gaming servers, and encrypted chats. This is where battles are fought before a single knife is drawn.

Families left in shock

I’ve been there when the police kicked down a door and dragged out a 13-year-old. I’ve stood outside with social services, trying to comfort a mother who couldn’t understand how her child ended up in handcuffs. I’ve spoken to fathers who had never even heard the term ‘appropriate adult’ until they were sitting in a police station, waiting for news about their child. 

Every time a young person is stabbed, there’s an outpouring of grief for the victim’s family. But what people don’t see is that the other family loses their child too—sometimes to a 20-year prison sentence. It’s not the same, but it’s still a loss. Parents are left asking, “How did this happen? Why didn’t I see it coming?” The shock is paralysing. 

Adolescence showed the raw, painful reality. The fear. The helplessness. And even the police officers, some of them hardened by years on the job, with tears in their eyes. 

The pressure on young people

This generation is under more pressure than we ever were. Severe mental health struggles. Constant bullying. The suffocating weight of social pressure. By 13, many feel they have to prove they’re sexually active. The legal age of consent is 16, but by then, these kids have already seen and lived too much. 

In 11 years of youth work, I’ve known multiple teenage pregnancies. Next week, we’re supporting another. And what breaks my heart is that so many young people don’t even understand the basics of consent, so we are teaching them.

You’re never alone

We have got a war zone out there. Young people killing and stabbing other young people every day, but when the trouble comes our young people remember what we’ve told them. That God loves them regardless of what they are doing and what they have to do to survive. God will wait for them. He loves them even when they get into trouble.  
 
One young lad ended up in a police cell at 12 and remembered what we said in youth club—that God loves him no matter what. When he was locked up, he told me the only thing that got him through the night was knowing he wasn’t alone, that God was with him. 

Because, in my experience, when a young person is in trouble, they ask for two things: their mum and God. That’s what keeps us going. That’s why we fight for these kids.

The church’s role

A lot of people cringe when I talk about this stuff. Even in churches, young people with a past aren’t always welcomed. If a former drug dealer walked into a Sunday service, how would the congregation look at them? That has to change. Jesus sat with sex workers, spoke to the Samaritan woman—He welcomed people. We need to do that too. 

As a youth leader, I make space for these conversations. We talk about the real stuff. Adolescence was a wake-up call, but we need more than just awareness. We need action. We need workshops for parents—because most don’t understand. A blue heart emoji might mean a death threat in one area but mean something completely different somewhere else. Parents need to understand this.

What parents can do

Parents often feel powerless, but there are steps they can take. Speak to your children, watch for any changes in their behaviour, and speak to your local youth leaders. Through Church Army’s Missional Youth Church Network, we will be releasing resources too, so do follow us if you would like to know more. 

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A Message of Hope

One verse I always come back to is 1 Timothy 4:12: Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example in love, faith, and purity. 

Young people are judged constantly, but underneath their hoodie and balaclava, and behaviour, is a child. When you take the time—like youth workers do—you can break through. We ask them to take off their balaclava so we can see their smile. We remind them they’re amazing because there might not be anyone else telling them that. 

If you tell a child they’re worthless long enough, they’ll believe it. That’s why I’m out here shouting from the rooftops that God loves them, that they can turn their lives around. And we, at Church Army, will be here to support them every step of the way. Adolescence showed the reality, but it’s up to us to bring the hope. 

Written by Karen Saunders, Church Army Evangelist, Greenwich Centre of Mission